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WWI--Writing While Intoxicated

I wonder if I should take up drinking. Serious drinking. Not just the once-every-six-months peach margarita I have at a Mexican bar. Or the occasional glass of Piesporter with dinner.

After all, a lot of renowned authors have been full-on drunks: Edgar Allan Poe, Herman Melville, F. Scott Fitzgerald, William Faulkner, Dorothy Parker, Truman Capote, Ernest Hemingway.

Some of my author friends swear they write better love scenes when they're a wee bit tipsy--something to do with releasing inhibitions and courting the Muse. Or maybe it's just getting the Inner Critic drunk so she can't pass judgment.

The problem is I can't hold liquor for squat. One glass of wine just makes me silly. Two glasses, and I'd be slumped over the keyboard while my forehead typed 57 pages of space bar into my manuscript.

I'd definitely have to build up my resistance day by day. Start with half a glass of light beer, work my way through a small snifter of sherry, move on to a full glass of Zinfandel, followed by an appletini, double shots of Scotch, and finally, a box of Cabernet.

Hmm. This could get pricey. I wonder if you can deduct Shiraz as a business expense?

Well, okay, I'm not REALLY going to take up heavy drinking. My writing might flow freely under the influence, but I'm sure I'd end up with a monster editing headache in the morning.

How about you? Are you a teetotaler, a social drinker, or a renowned author?

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